By Cat Jones
See Dick. See Jane.
Dick is white.
Jane is black.
See officer friendly.
Officer friendly is racist and violent.
Uh oh. Officer friendly keeps getting away with murder. Oh no! Run Jane, Run!
Oh no. See Officer friendly shoot Jane, even though she hasn’t done anything wrong. See the police department’s Public Information Officer. He is called the PIO. See the PIO tell the media that Jane got a parking ticket 3 years ago and never paid it, thus proving she was not a law abiding citizen. See the PIO hold up a picture of a nail file that was “recovered from the scene.” He says the nail file was a weapon. Here comes Officer Friendly! He looks serious. See Officer Friendly say that Jane recklessly reached for her purse. He says that Jane was planning to brandish the nail file at him, thus causing him to “fear for his life.” See the media print everything the police tell them to print about Jane.
See the media pretend Jane deserved it.
See Dick turn his back, because he isn’t the victim, and anyway, she had a nail file and a parking ticket.
See Dick’s family and friends do nothing about what happened to Jane, because racist cops don’t impact them, and Jane’s experience of the world was different than theirs.
See nobody care about what happened to Jane.
See Jane’s family say, wait a minute, WE care!
See them organize!
See them DO something, FINALLY, about Officer Friendly’s violence. See Jane’s family get Officer Friendly indicted. Yay!
See them call themselves Jane’s Life Matters.
See Dick scowl. See Dick say, “Wait a minute, what about MY life! DICK’S LIFE MATTERS!”
See Jane’s family try to explain to Dick that they aren’t dissing him, they are responding to what happened to Jane.
See Dick ignore that. See Dick and his family shout, “DICK’S LIFE MATTERS TOO!” See them all get really ignorant yet condescending toward Jane’s family.
“You people need to bla bla bla,” Dick advises Jane’s family. Dick thinks he hasn’t gotten shot by police because he knows so many smart things. “If you don’t wanna get shot, just Bla bla bla,” says Dick.
See Dick and his family all go home patting each other on the back, thinking they’ve showed those uppity “Jane’s Life Matters” people!
See Dick and his ignorant, clueless family go back to their tv screens and video games and Big Gulps, feeling all superior.
See Jane’s little brother, Joe, get shot on his way to buy candy, by Officer Not-So-Friendly.
See the police department try to cover up the shooting. Oh Look! There’s Mister Smith. He owns the market where Jane’s little brother had gone to buy his candy bar. “We have surveillance video of what happened!” He exclaims.
Uh oh. See the police sneak in and take the video tape. “We need this for evidence,” says Officer Not-so-Friendly. Uh oh. See the police accidentally delete all the footage. “Well, it’s all right because he had it coming anyway,” says the PIO.
See Dick’s family not give a shit.
See the media claim that Joe “may have had a crack pipe” (although it later disappeared). They show pictures of Joe’s messy room, and talk about how sad it is that parents don’t teach their children better than to have such a messy room. See the media tell everyone that once, when Joe was in kindergarten, he pulled Little Jessica’s hair. Clearly, his violent past has finally caught up with him.
See Jane’s family stand up together again, holding banners saying that Jane’s Life and Joe’s life mattered.
“ALL lives matter!” They shout.
See Jane’s family say, “Then join us, because we’re dying!”
“No,” says Dick. “You people are messy and violent. If you don’t want to get shot, you should be more like us.”
See Dick’s family turn away. See them go off to their keyboards, typing ridiculous shit about how uppity Jane’s family is, because they are “divisive.” See Dick’s family tell each other that they are better than Jane’s family, because THEY know that “ALL lives matter.”
See Jane’s dog, Spot, get shot by Officer Even Less Friendly.
“It’s all right,” says the PIO. “We’re going to have a panel, and a grand jury, and a report, and shit like that. You’ll feel better then.”
“But what good is a panel or a report when Spot is dead?!” Asks Jane’s family.
“It will help you understand that Spot had it coming and the police are good and the present system is legitimate and justified,” says the PIO.
See Dick shrug. That sounds reasonable to him. He pets his cat, Frisky. He’s happy that Frisky is smart enough to know how not to get shot by police.
See Dick’s family go back to their tv screens, their video games, their keyboards and their Big Gulps again. They don’t really care about “all” lives. They only care about themselves, and they want to be the center of attention.
Don’t be a Dick.